I know, I know: All that is nice, but it’s just a dream. None of that can ever happen.

Well, I need to believe it (or something on the way to it) can happen. And I don’t think it’s that unrealistic, if you really think about it.

Tell me what you think…

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In my dream, people all over the world have power and influence in their lives. They shop at cooperatives, bank at credit unions, and regularly participate in community councils.

In my dream the majority of decisions that affect our daily lives are made at the municipal or community level. The majority of taxes are levied by cities, towns or other municipalities. Funding for higher levels of government are provided by municipalities based on agreements arrived at between these municipalities – a new take on the Federation of Canadian Municipalities.

Elections are a vital part of municipal life. With the increased power and influence of municipalities, these elections take on new significance, attract more and more varied and qualified candidates, as well as participation from the majority of voters. The introduction of proportional representation at the Provincial and Federal levels results in the creation of new political parties, all of which have a chance to be competitive come election time. This new vitality has invigorated political discussion and electoral participation: Anything less than 90% turnout for elections is considered disappointing.

All energy is produced locally, most of it through micro-generation by individuals and cooperatives, with surpluses added to a distributed grid managed by a municipal authority. Water is collected and filtered on site, possibly with provision for small-scale municipal treatments and distribution in case of droughts. Wastewater is treated in constructed wetlands located throughout communities.

Rather than owning their own homes, many people belong to housing co-ops. Some of these are comprised of single family homes, while most consist of town homes and apartments. Privately owned rental properties have all but disappeared. Neighbourhood gardens are spread throughout the city, some shared by those in particular housing complexes, other share by whole neighbourhoods. Virtually all food consumed in the summer months is grown locally, and some communities are experimenting with growing produce throughout the year in super-efficient greenhouses. Some food is transported between cities by rail; almost no food is imported from outside the country.

Cities have developed around accessible, pedestrian-friendly neighbourhoods. These neighbourhoods, in turn, are connected by rapid, light-rail transit. Smaller cities and towns have also developed in close, connected patterns, mostly accessible by walking, but also aided by 24 hour free bus service. These communities and cities, in turn, are connected by high speed rail links. While roads remain, the majority of all travel occurs by train, bus, bicycle and on foot.

Due to the broad participation in ownership of the economy, poverty has been eliminated. Indeed, in cases where someone is unable to participate in the economy, they are routinely cared for and supported by others in the community. There are still, however, formal social supports funded through taxation and administered by the municipalities…just in case.

With the elimination of poverty there has been a marked improvement in the overall health of the population and demand on the health care system. Of course, some of this is also attributed to the virtual elimination of urban air pollution and the extremely healthy diet of organically-grown local produce consumed by most of the population.

Finally, while the police service and the justice system remain intact and still do a small “business,” the majority of crime, and particularly violent crime, has been eliminated. Given that the general ethos of society has shifted from competition and scarcity to cooperation and abundance, perhaps this isn’t surprising. Since everyone is able to participate in the economy and have a comparible level of ownership and power, there is little incentive for property crime. Reflecting on the new reality, people have come to realize the extent to which crime was primarily driven by competition, social and economic exclusion.

An additional benefit of the type of sensible, compact, and connected development that has occurred in the last number of years is that many of the biggest environmental concerns of the past have, well, disappeared. Greenhouse gas emissions have plummeted sharply with the virtual elimination of emissions for transportation and the increasing use of micro-generation, cogeneration and other energy efficiencies. In addition, significant amounts of natural wilderness, that would have been overtaken by sprawl, logging and other resource extraction, have been preserved. Floods and droughts that had come to be a regular occurrence have been decreasing as wetlands are being restored and natural wind-breaks and other microclimate-modifying natural features re-establish themselves.

The success of these models, first in Manitoba and then in Canada have caught the attention of other countries. As this new reality grew here, others around the world were experimenting with the same concepts. While in Europe some of this is not new, there is a new sense of global purpose, of reclaiming the world for the people. Now, problems that once seemed insurmountable – climate change, global poverty, gender violence – now have solutions that seem within grasp.

Maybe there is hope for a better world after all?

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This is a dream, my utopia, from where I sit right now. It might seem a little far-fetched, but…

…If you break each part of that dream down, it comes down to choices we make along the way. Do we fund tax breaks to corporations, or the development of cooperatives? Do we spend money on building and patching roads and other infrastructure to far-flung suburbs, or do we make the most of the infrastructure we have by designing compact, efficient communities? Do we fund energy mega-projects like the oilsands and enormous hydroelectric projects thousands of kilometres from significant populations, or do we use those funds to develop the infrastructure to support micro and co-generation within the communities where the power will be used? Do we buy multi-billion-dollar military hardware to support missions to invade countries around the world, or do we spend those billions and trillions of dollars building a cross-country high speed rail networks?

These are all choices. Perhaps not choices that seem self-evidently good on their own but, I think, when presented in a broader vision, sound pretty good to me.

And, as I wake up from my dream, I think to myself, “Is all this really that hard? Is it rocket science?”

You know what? I don’t think it is…

The reality is that each and every one of us has the power to change historical trends, to make this election an election of historical proportions. In her interview with Peter Mansbridge, as Leader of the Green Party, Elizabeth May made a powerful observation: It isn’t strategic voting that is the real concern in this election, it is Canadians not voting. She noted that in the last election the percentage of Canadians that did not vote was greater than the percentage of the vote received by any of the parties. This is a powerful fact: En mass, those who did not vote in the last election could sway this election to any party, including the Green party. If anyone tells you there is no power in voting, simply remind them of that fact. Not voting is the abdication of power, influence and, indeed, responsibility.

This post is not about telling anyone how to vote; how you vote is not nearly as important as the fact that you do vote. So many voices in Canada are not heard because they are not represented at the ballot box. Aboriginal people, working people, the less educated all have issues that need to be addressed, yet all have been less inclined to vote in Federal elections. Of course the frustration that is at the root of this apathy is understandable: Why vote when your voice is not represented and, when promises are made, they are not kept by the elected government? Remember, however, that all it takes is for those who haven’t voted to go to the polls and vote for change, and change will come. And every election, if the government doesn’t keep it’s commitments to Canadians, as opposed to corporations and corporate interests, we can throw the bums out.

This is you chance to be the boss.

So, no, there is no answer here to how to vote, but here are a few things to consider:

• If you are a working family, with two incomes, how does a government handout for child support help when there are not enough licensed child care spaces, and not enough Early Childhood Educators trained to staff existing spaces?
• If you believe government programs and government actions should be based on evidence as to what is most needed and effective, rather than the influence of corporate and issue lobbies, can you support a government that sees no value in collecting such information and, indeed, shows open contempt for evidence-based policy?
• If you think that Canadians should have access to information from Government, and be able to hold their representatives to account for what they say and do, can you support a party and a Prime Minister that obsessively control information and restricts the freedom of its own Ministers to speak on issues using their own intellectual faculties?
• And finally, if you believe that a Government should stand behind its commitments and values, how can you support a government that, while campaigning for election, trumpets the need for transparency, accountability and ethics in Ottawa and then, once elected, displays a contempt for these principles rarely, if ever, exhibited in the history of Canadian politics?

Obviously this post is not about telling you who to vote for but, as you may have sensed, it is suggesting you consider who not to vote for. Much of the Conservative message is centred around the idea of stability and that to elect any other government would jeopardize this. However, the idea that a Liberal, NDP or even Green government would result in chaos is ridiculous, and the idea that stability is valuable for its own sake even more so.

The reality is we need change. Income inequality in Canada is increasing every year, The rich are getting richer, corporations are getting a free ride, and the average Canadian is fighting for their jobs, to pay the bills and, in some cases, to feed their families. For those with that reality, what does the Conservative government have to offer?

So stand up for change. Any change is good. To be apathetic, to accept the status quo, is to tell Mr. Harper that we, as Canadians, do not care enough about our own welfare to oppose his agenda, that we accept growing inequality, poverty and disrespect for our democratic rights.

Of course none of us accept these things, but until we speak out, nobody will know.

One thing that has changed, and that has impacted my life, is the loss of some of my vision. As a result of the severe intracranial pressure associated with my relapse, I have been left with a reduced visual field, mostly affecting the lower half of my vision but also to some degree, my peripheral vision to either side. I am blessed that this hasn’t prevented me from being able to read nor, for the most part, engaging with my kids, but it has certainly changed the way I go about my day and how I interact with the world.

Finding stuff

One of the first things that I noticed causing me frustration was it was a lot more difficult to find the various odds and ends a person needs to find throughout the day. Or perhaps it’s better to say it was much easier to lose them. Don’t get me wrong, I was perfectly able to lose keys, wallets, phones papers, pens and such before, it’s just now I’m so much “better” at it.

More dramatically, I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of my kids (or, I suppose, any short person). I can’t count the number of times I have been in the yard or at the playground and gone into panic mode, thinking I had lost a kid, only to discover he was standing 5 feet in front of me. I also have trouble keeping track of toys as they move about the house throughout the day, and I find myself constantly stepping on a metal car or tripping over toy drums. I’m learning to compensate. Gradually.

Of course it is possible that some of these sorts of things would have happened to me anyway; I was never the least clumsy person in the room. It is handy, though, to have a medical “excuse.”

Buying stuff

I don’t know if you’ve ever had the experience of walking into a fast food restaurant, looking up at the menu, and being overwhelmed by the absurd number of choices and combinations presented. No? Well, I was never fond of the experience myself, but now it’s even worse. I’m not sure if it is my random little blind spots, or the fact that I have a harder time with low light and low contrast situations, but fast food menu boards are hard for me to take in. And of course, it being “fast food,” I am terribly self-conscious as I stand there trying to make sense of it all while other hungry customers pile up behind me.

But it isn’t just fast food menus that give me a hard time. Even walking in to a well-lit department store is a different experience. Perhaps it’s because, with my restricted peripheral vision, I have a harder time taking in my surroundings, but I find it more difficult to find my way around stores to find what I’m looking for. It doesn’t help that most large stores have given up on the concept of “customer service” (finding a human to help is often an insurmountable challenge). Add to this confusing signage and often crowds of people and the whole experience of shopping has become even less fun than it was before.

There is one request I will make of (especially large) retailers: For the love of all that is good and holy, get all that crap out of your aisles! (I always liked @Dr_Ayad‘s philosophy of merchandising – keep those aisles clear!)

Reading (kids’) stuff

I am blessed and very thankful that my vision loss has not impacted my ability to read (most things); that would have been very hard for me to deal with. What it has impacted, however, is my sensitivity to light and contrast. This, it turns out, makes it ridiculously difficult to read a lot of kids’ books. I’m not sure what it is about children’s book publishers, but so many of them seem to think it is sensible to feature pages with black text on dark red or (worse) blue backgrounds. Reading these is very difficult and very frustrating. Often, I need to bring the book right to my face to make out the text on those pages and, on occasion, admit defeat and either get another book or pass it to my wife to read.

That being said, this really increases my appreciation for books that stick to black text on white (or light) backgrounds. I think I might have to start an award for such books and their publishers. The prizes, of course, will have to be very modest.

Playing sports

My children are both still quite young, so this hasn’t become too big an issue yet, but you can imagine the challenge involved in catching or kicking a ball as it disappears from your vision. I haven’t attempted to play hockey yet, but the idea of trying to keep track of a puck without looking at it (because you can’t stare at the puck lest you get clocked by someone else, accidentally or otherwise). I also, aside from one brief ride down my street, haven’t ridden my bike since my diagnosis. To be honest, I’m a bit afraid of getting hit by a car or running in to someone else.

In a way, it is these things that cause me the most sadness. When I think about my boys growing up and wanting to play catch or soccer or hockey or go mountain biking, that’s when I get sad. I picture myself trying to catch (getting a baseball in the face), trying to pass the soccer ball back and forth (and having it go through my legs) or trying to teach them to stick-handle a puck (and constantly skating right by it). I think about Tommy or Bennett wanting to go mountain biking on a trail somewhere. but that I have to stop a couple of kilometers in after I flip over a root or crash into a tree.

When I step back I realize that I should be (and I am) thankful to be alive. But at this point the thought of not being able to fully participate with my sons as they grow up leaves a big hole in my heart.

Just plain gettin’ around

While I haven’t had my driver’s license taken away yet (thanks I’m sure to the miracles of bureaucracy), I have been informed that visual field tests I submitted were, as they say, sub-par. I have been given the opportunity to challenge to maintain my license, the idea being that if I can prove that I can compensate for my vision loss, they’ll let me keep my license with necessary restrictions. I hope to be able to keep my license, if for no other reason than to be able to help out on those long drives across the vast Canadian prairie to visit my in-laws.

The reality is that, pending the resolution of all this licensing brouhaha, I haven’t been driving at all. Not recently anyway. When I was driving, while I managed fine, it wasn’t any fun. Driving used to be fun. Now, frankly, it’s a lot of work and a lot more exhausting. To compensate for my reduced visual field I do a lot more shoulder checking and head turning. I’m a bit paranoid that I might miss something or someone. I imagine that, in some ways, this is good. I probably take the task of driving a lot more seriously that many of the hair-doing, makeup-applying, newspaper-reading drivers you see out there. But it’s still kind of exhausting.

Not driving in the city it isn’t too big of a deal. We live close enough to major bus routes and important things – such as a grocery store, pharmacy, playground, park, ice cream store (yum), coffee shop and city pool and indoor skating – that I can generally get by without too much trouble. It is a bit inconvenient, however,  running some errands. Unfortunately, this is partly a function of the City of Winnipeg’s (or its Mayor’s) confusing love-hate relationship with transit. For the most part, however, I can get where I need to go.

What really worries me about not having a driver’s license, though, is the restrictions it would put on me when I find myself in a rural area or small town. People in small towns take for granted that, for some things, they need to hop into the car to go to the next town or the “Big City.” But what if you can’t drive? Sure, from a lot of towns you can catch a bus to most other major towns, but this is far more expensive than driving, and indescribably less convenient. And with Greyhound’s recent expression of ambivalence (or hostility) towards rural bus service in the Prairies, I wouldn’t want to count on bus service for my survival. As a result I am hoping to have some ability to drive if for no other reason than to preserve my ability to chose a rural or cottage lifestyle.

Seeing the world

I realize it is a bit melodramatic to make a big deal about partial vision loss. After all, there are plenty of people who deal with much more limiting disabilities and serious health issues. In a way, however, this is what makes this seem significant to me. I haven’t suffered a particularly debilitating loss of vision, yet it is striking how much of an impact this has on my life and, when you take into account the potential of not being able to drive, how much it limits my ability to travel outside major cities.

When I had my full vision, I took moving about the world for granted. Now I find I have to be constantly aware of my surroundings lest I step in front of a bike, walk into a short person (which I’ve done…sorry), or trip on curbs. I fund myself pausing at the top of stairs to judge their spacing before proceeding down (since this is information that I don’t get from my peripheral vision anymore). Even little things, like using a debit machine or signing documents, take more concentration than before.

At the end of the day, the reality is that I am very grateful to be alive; after relapsed ALL, this isn’t something you take for granted. I also think I have a greater appreciation for what I have and what is important. When I am frustrated, it isn’t hard to step back and realize how lucky I am to have my family and my health.

I know I am not completely innocent of complaining about the little things in life, and the things I can’t control. But when I hear people on the bus, or on the street lamenting some petty difficulty in their life I want to remind them not to take what they have for granted, because you never know what life will bring tomorrow.

I have never shied away from the fact that I am a leukemia survivor and now a stem cell transplant recipient. In fact, my survivorship has been a part of my online identity for a while now, even going so far as to explicitly celebrate it as part of my LinkedIn profile, as if it were a professional qualification.

But isn’t it? I mean aren’t the experiences we have – the shock, the frustration, the perseverance – worth something? Is it wrong to think that somehow cancer survivors have a unique perspective on life and the world?

Of course, like any experience, just surviving cancer doesn’t guarantee you’ll learn anything from it. After all, there are lots of people with many years of varied experiences as managers who still manage to be useless at it. Likewise, I know there are plenty of people who survive cancer and go right back to their old lives, for better or worse, as if nothing had happened. When presented with an opportunity to learn, some people just don’t take it.

I do think the challenges, suffering and joy of cancer survivorship are worth celebrating and advertising. After all, I am a cancer survivor. Anyone who isn’t prepared to accept that perhaps isn’t someone I necessarily want to be spending a lot of time with. More significant, and probably what more people worry about, any potential employer who thinks the risks of hiring a cancer survivor (a pre-diseased employee) outweigh the benefits in experience and maturity gained from the experience is perhaps not an employer I necessarily want to be associated with.

Denying or hiding the experience of cancer is a bit like pretending that one doesn’t bring political, social or religious biases into one’s life and work. You can try to be something you’re not, or believe something you don’t, but at the end of the day it’s almost impossible. It will come out. And in the mean time, the only one who is suffering is you.

If there is one thing I have learned from facing a potentially fatal illness, it’s that one of the worst things you can do for your health and well-being is waste a bunch of energy trying to be somebody you’re not, or trying to please people who think you need to change. It’s easy to say, I know, and I can’t claim to be perfect at it, but remembering it is very valuable when times get tough.

So I’m not afraid to tell people about my illness. Perhaps there will be opportunities that will pass me by because of it, because of people being afraid of me being infirm, unreliable, doomed. But I’m betting there will be at least as many opportunities that will present themselves precisely because I am being honest, genuine and true to myself. After all, what characteristics could be more important than honesty and integrity? They go right to the heart of who a person is. And for me to try to hide or minimize my experiences would not be honest, would not contribute to my integrity as a person.

My name is Stuart, and I am proud of and empowered by having survived leukemia!

Take that!

There has been a lot of talk about Canada’s “Own the Podium” program, and the goal of “winning” the Olympic medal count. Questions are asked about whether we invest enough in our elite athletes, and whether existing investment will or should continue. It seems to me that this begs the question, what exactly is the goal of producing successful elite athletes? Is the idea that we need elite athletes to inspire our youth to participate in sport? Why then do we not worry about our support for our elite scientists? How about our policy analysts? Our Early Childhood Educators? Surely the contribution made by these groups to society is more significant and important, especially given that our country is still plagued by homelessness, poverty, illness and inequality.

One could look at sports such as speed skating, cross-country skiing and biathalon and say, perhaps, that encouraging excellence in these sports fosters skills that could actually be used in the real world. It’s a bit of a stretch, but plausible. But bobsledding? Ski jumping? Curling? They may be all fine and good as sports, but what do we prove by funding athletes to excel at them? Participate in them, sure. Lots of fun. But important? Not really.

And of course there is men’s hockey, Canada’s “big deal.” If we win gold in hockey, with a team loaded with multi-million dollar professional athletes, should we be excited? Did we prove anything? I can still remember when the Olympics used to be about “amateur” athletics and the debate began about allowing professional “dream teams” to compete. If anyone doubts that the Olympics is more about commercial exploitation and profit than athletic excellence, they need look no further than the slippery slope of its professionalization and the inclusion of dramatic and tv-friendly sports such as snowboarding and skeleton.

And, at the end of the day, if that’s what the Olympics are going to be about, fine. Who am I to decide what others want? All I ask is we stop pretending that we’re doing something we’re not. We’re not “bringing the world together,” “celebrating global community” and all that. If it was about global community and cooperation, bidding for the Olympics wouldn’t be a viscious and absurdly expensive competition and hosting the Olympics would require dollar amounts approaching and exceeding government spending on social and other programs. And, if the Olympics truely was a global celebration, countries wouldn’t gloat and glorify the failings of other countries in hosting the Olympics.

So lets celebrate the accomplishments of our athletes, as we should celebrate the accomplishments of so many other Canadians. But let’s not pretend that “owning” the podium matters, or is even a worthy or important policy goal.