First of all, I must apologize for those of you who actually read my blog (not many at this point, I imagine) and expected me to be posting regularly. I will. Once I get in the rhythm. It's hard for me, though, this writing regularly thing. Believe me, I've tried many a time before.
Regardless, on to the topic at hand...
I can remember when I first got out of the hospital after entering remission. I was frail, skinny, unsteady on my feet and bound and determined to lead some sort of pure, toxin-free life. I'm not sure if this was an effort to honour my survival or to prolong it.
I took great pride in eating organically, not drinking pops and other nasty things. I was keeping up with all the latest on what foods cause what, and what are the best foods for prolonged health. I saw a naturopathic doctor and got hooked up with all the good supplements. And this made me feel good, proud, purposeful.
Of course, it would be wrong of me not to point out that a) when I was first released from the hospital I had recently suffered from acute pancreatitis and, as such was forbidden from eating fatty or sugary foods b) my mother obsessively bought and fed me organic food negating my need to do much work in that regard. So it wasn't all some all-consuming quest on my part. Circumstance definitely helped me down that road. In the end though, it did give me a real sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Fast-forward to today. I had two bottles of Pepsi (only because there is no Coke machine at work). I have no more idea than the average Joe on the street what the latest research says about toxicity of foods and products. And, apparently, the baby wash we've been using on our 6 month old child has some form of laureth sulfate, or some such thing. I used to know the significance of this. Now, the only reason I am even aware is due to the fact that I have a mother obsessed with scrutinizing everything we come in contact with. Love sure can be powerful! sigh
Probably the one thing that really brought it home for me was cutting an article out of the Globe and Mail about a lawsuit against Coca Cola because some of their drinks (containing vitamin c no less) were reacting with sunlight and were found to contain benzene. And the one thing that sticks in my mind about benzine is an article I read that said benzene was one of the few substances conclusively linked with increased development of leukemia. I remember my mom telling me my dad was going through his head thinking of some job he had way back where he dealt with benzene (solvents or something) and whether he might have brought this home somehow. And here it is, all I really needed to do was drink some crappy Minute Maid drink, and I would probably get way more benzene exposure than I ever could through some third-hand, hand-me-down source. I don't know if it makes me sick to think about it, but it does, really, kind of make me angry.
I'm sure I'll have more to say on this soon, but right now I'm just feeling overwhelmed. And neglectful. Oh, and tired. But don't worry, now I'm motivated to write. See you soon...